One of the most perplexing examples of mob dumbfuckery to show up recently is the “AntiVaxxer” movement.  If you’re not familiar with it, it’s basically an organized effort to kill off young kids and bring back an age of disease and pestilence among the uneducated and easily conned.

Oh, that’s not how THEY describe it, of course.  Luminaries in their group like Doctor Jenna McCarthy (she is a doctor, right?  I mean, she’s setting health care policy, so she’s qualified, right?) talk about how great it would be to get rid of vaccinations because people aren’t getting sick any more.  The little logic flag that just popped up in your head?  Yeah, that’s just your “profiteering center”, according to Jenna McCarthy and her followers, because that’s the only reason people would support these procedures.  Certainly, it’s irresponsible to make any connection between worldwide vaccination efforts and the huge drop in sickness, right?   Whoops, your “BULLSHIT!” circuit breaker just popped.  Go ahead and reset that, we’ll be discussing some more of their claims shortly.

To the antivaxxer hoards, the fact that worldwide health has gone up in regions where vaccines are administered is incidental to their feelings.  “MERCURY!” they cry, referencing some of the preservatives used, despite the fact that you’ll get roughly the same amount of mercury from eating a small piece of fish.  If you believe their strident pleas, receiving the shot essentially means that mercury will seep through your pores and turn you into a highly toxic, autistic version of  The Silver Surfer.

“Autistic?” you ask, scratching your head.  “Where’d that come from?”  Well, about 15 years ago, Andrew Wakefield published an article in the Lancet making a link between MMR vaccines and autism.  The world reeled!  “ZOMG!!!!” read the headlines, and everywhere, people began to talk about deferring their children’s vaccinations.  ….except that the claims weren’t true and the study was discredited almost immediately when it was discovered that a group of people paid him to say this so they could sue a vaccine company, but the damage had been done.

So, we’re left with the AntiVaxxer movement today.  Their entire belief is based upon the disproven work of a discredited doctor who got caught faking evidence for money….  and they don’t care.

It’s as if stupidity has been bred into a generation of perfectly normal looking people who you don’t realize are batshit crazy until they open their mouths, but then it’s a non-stop torrent of drivel.  Their movement is a sham, sort of a modern day version of not wearing your seatbelt because you want to be “thrown clear of the wreck”.  They point to their own health and say “See?  People just don’t get these sicknesses anymore!”  without a trace of irony about the face that THEY themselves received vaccinations as children.  Also, the causes they take up reflect their ‘crazy levels’ quite nicely too.  This year?  Swine flu.

“Oh noes!” they cry, “the H1N1 vaccine is ‘new and untested’!”  The fuck it is, it’s made the same goddamn way flu vaccines have been constructed for decades.

You know the real reason the H1N1 vaccine is panned, the reason they REALLY subscribe too but don’t mention?  Because some radio host told them the vaccine is part of a government plot to genocide their asses.  What.  The.  Fuck.  Seriously, there are radio hosts out there who talk about body bags and medical camps and “the government is gonna reduce your population to free up land and money!” and they claim the vaccine is part of this conspiracy.  Holy goddamn hell in a handbasket.

This conspiracy theory, of course, is horseshit.  “But why, good sir?” I hear you ask through the whispering tubes of the Internet.  “And how do you know?”  Simple: they’re just not competent enough.

To believe that the US government can put together a big secret plan to kill off most of the population as part of some great conspiracy against its own citizens is to imbue them with skills in leadership, organization, planning, etc that they have consistently failed to demonstrate.  It’s like accusing your dog of being the leader of a world-wide diamond theft cartel.

I could disprove this theory so many different ways, but the sheer lack of ability our government has at doing anything big and secret is such a deal changer, I don’t need to go any further.

So back to the antivaxxers…  it would be funny if they were just making this decision for themselves and dying off, but here’s the rub:  All of these parents saying ‘No vaccinations for my child!”?  They’re vaccinated!  Their parents were not retarded, so they got the various vaccinations when THEY were kids.  The only people who die from horrible, preventable diseases?

Their kids.

FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU-

Yet strangely, if I were to go out and punch each of these poor excuses for parents in the face for being so viciously, short-sightedly stupid, somehow I would be considered the villain.  There ain’t no justice.